I am Patrick, a gay friendly therapist living and working in London.
For years I was bullied and I would like to help anyone else who is still struggling with this. As a teenager I considered any means of escape, from creating an elaborate imaginary world in my mind to spending hours hiding from my tormentors in a dark wardrobe.
For many years my reaction to the bullying during those years was to deploy further escapist fantasies using drink, drugs or other dysfunctional behaviour.
While some of that journey I might have considered hedonistic “fun”, for many others it ceased to be fun and I became a slave to various addictions. Recovery and happiness were elusive, but I got there. I survived. Many don't and I have learnt that more and more children commit suicide to escape bullying.
A tragic example is the story of Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover an 11 year old boy whose mother found him hanging by an extension cord at her home near Boston, USA. Carl had been taunted and threatened by classmates for weeks before he killed himself. His mother said that she contacted the school repeatedly over the last six months of his life to ask teachers to intervene after learning her son had been targeted by students and classmates who "called him gay on a daily basis, made fun of his clothes and threatened to harm him."
Had this 11 year old boy survived, bullying would have left its mark. This reminds me of my own feelings of being an outsider suffering physical and emotional bullying for whole terms at a time. It left its mark and my suffering was internalised for many years.
National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Centre in the USA, suggest that almost 30 percent of youth are involved in bullying as either a bully, a target of bullying, or both. That is a lot of bullying.
The clip below if a trailer for a film sent to all schools in England by Stonewall’s anti-bullying campaign.
I am very glad society tries to help current and future generations. What about generations who carry the mental or physical scars of previous bullying or those who are still suffering now.
Is it possible to break the chain of consequences of trauma that are re-enacted in minds of the victims of bullying no longer allowing what happened then to have a negative influence on life now, and even on events in the future? Cognitive Hypnotherapists like me think it is.
We offer a wider range of effective techniques and treatments combining the best of Cognitive Therapy and the benefits of Hypnotherapy while using the latest techniques of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).
These include working with metaphorical "Time Lines" a model for changing the meanings of our specific memories while preserving the learnings form our past. This is a type of light hypnotic regression that can release negative emotions and helps allow the client to visualise a future where that problem no longer affects them negatively. We call this technique Future Pacing. And it has helped many people already. For some this will be the first time they have imagined a future without their problem.
We also can use what is called the "Fast Phobia Cure" to disrupt the pattern of structure of a negative emotional event to play with a troubling memory by changing its sub modalities i.e. the way we imagine that event, in terms of what we see, hear and feel about it - and thus often remove the negative emotions attached to it.
When the client begins to notice more evidence of pleasant future outcomes this reinforces the letting go that occurred, and can free an individual from a phobia or negative event. It doesn't take years of therapy, significant improvements can be noticed in a few sessions.
Time Lines, Future Pacing and the Fast Phobia Cure are just a few of the NLP techniques Cognitive Hypnotherapists use to help clients overcome parts of their negative personal history and to look forward to a happier future. I can tell you about other techniques in my next blog you want to let go of your own limiting beliefs send me a message and lets talk about how Cognitive Hypnotherapy can help.
Often people begin to feel better as soon as they have taken action to get help. All conversations are in the strictest confidence and I am fully trained and insured.
Here are some links and resources if you or someone you love or care about has been bullied.
IF YOU NEED HELP?
I am a qualified and insured Cognitive Hypnotherapist & Coach working in London. I am happy to work with all clients equally on a wide range of issues.
Please click here to learn how I might be able to help. Or cut and paste this url:
Wherever you are in the world you can access a variety of qualified specialists (including me) from your home computer using Mentaline
The Samaritans run a 24 hour help line with someone to talk Their telephone number (from within) the UK is 08457 90 90 90
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