Only just saw this very thoughtful article on Addiction Today by Sarah Graham from a  few years ago on a Facebook post.

"Mainstream services" appear not yet to be as aware or sensitive to the specific needs of their LGBT clients as much as we might hope.  If you feel you would like to make positive changes in your life there are a number of places to reach out to in addition to an LGBT focused/affirmative coach and therapist like myself.

But before I post that link (its at the bottom of this post) I'd like to say that there are many routes to recovery but talking to someone is a good start.  Admitting that there is/has been a problem is and taking a decision to reach out for help could follow swiftly.

 If you have an issue with an addictive behaviour (gay apps, gambling, sex with strangers, risky behaviours) or substances (alcohol, recreational drug use, smoking or food) you have probably been worrying about it for some time. If you are ready to take action now get in touch. If you imagine there will be a time you need help then bookmark this page and come back to it a few times. As much as we can learn a habit that once we imagined helped us feel good, we can find new habits and behaviours that can provide a lasting sense of contentment and pleasure instead of increasingly short term pleasure mixed with increasing amounts of shame or regrets.

Habits are just that habits.  Its a behaviour its not you as a person.  You are far more than the sum of your behaviours.  Forgive yourself past behaviours and more forward.

Please make contact either via Email change@patricklilley.com  or Google LGBT Counselling and a range or services should appear.

 If you would like to talk to someone please text me on 07931424905 with a few words about your situation and goal.

I am usually able to return calls within 24/48 hours.  I have experienced addiction issues like many llesbian and gay people. I can offer hope, help and support:  if you want to change your life, you can.

Every journey starts with one step.  You may have many hidden resources inside you that you might not be aware of yet.  I may be able to help you find them.  And there are many people also willing to help and support you.  

Wishing you the best mental and physical health.

Patrick

August 31, 2009

DEATH BY DIVERSITY?

WORKING WITH THE LGBT COMMUNITY

Lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender services are a rarity, reports Sarah Graham. At the same time, where gay clubs go, straight ones usually follow – and they are succumbing to crystal meth.

http://www.addictiontoday.org/addictiontoday/2009/08/death-by-diversity.html

LGBT Counselling to combat excessive drinking, smoking or drug use?

Do you ever feel isolated or unhappy ? Would you like to talk to a professional about it? 

We all have off days but many people those off days can or have become the default setting.  Did you know that up to 1/4 people may experience poor mental health in any one year. (*1).  

A disproportionate number of those will be gay or bisexual men. Good mental health is not simply the absence of diagnosable mental health problems, although good mental health is likely to help protect against development of many such problems. 

 Mental health or well-being is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.

It is all too clear from the Stonewall report on gay (and bisexual) Men's Health that our community faces not just a huge challenge in terms of sexual health but the elephant in the room is mental health.  (see link at the bottom of page).

What does this mean to gay & bisexual men?

A recent edition of Attitude, the UK’s best-selling gay magazine, is focusing on the sensitive – and often taboo – issue of mental health problems in gay men.

13% gay and bisexual men are currently experiencing moderate to severe levels of mixed depression and anxiety. 


Other factors that may contribute to poor mental health include bullying, homophobia and general and sexual health issues including HIV, body image, living alone or separation from family or friends or retirement from working.  

Excessive drinking, drugging or unhealthy sexual relationships or smoking may also affect physical and mental health even when the intention is to feel better by "partying."  

In addition to the challenges of gay life in a straight world, gay men also are more concerned about body image, self confidence and self esteem, phobias, motivation and weight loss etc but experience them in a slightly different way to most straight men.

Most gay men experience growing up knowing they were "different." Dealing with that and the process (often ongoing) of coming out and rejection by  friends, colleagues, families and communities often leads to gay men to leave home area to express themselves more fully in the big cities or further from home in other countries.

The advances in laws on equality in the UK are great strides forward yet the fact they are needed to limit prejudice and inequality are a reminder that we are not all born equal.   The persecution of gay men in other societies also reminds us that our new found liberties and equalities are not universal human rights enjoyed by all around the world or even outside the big cities in the UK.  Northern Ireland has still to enact key equality laws.  In the era of the instant contact social apps it seems many gay men are experiencing greater isolation and challenges to their self esteem and well being. Isolation can be both a cause and a consequence of poor mental health.

As an LGBT Therapist with several years working in London both in private practice and working with LGBT mental health charities its clear we need to acknowledge what is happening and take the first steps to combating anxiety, depression and isolation. 

London's gay scene (community?) is glued by sex, alcohol and increasingly by drugs.  (In my own career in event management I do my best to create safe and friendly environments (including in clubs) for people to meet other safely. I am astonished that there are so few place for gay people to meet that are not based around drinking alcohol.  Its no surprise that isolation is an increasing issue for gay and bisexual men.  It can affrect teenager, twenty or thirty somethings or old gay men.

If you imagine that by talking to a professional counsellor and therapist you can begin to combat isolation, learn new techniques that increase your sense of well being and even increase your self esteem then get in touch.  Talk to friends and family too if you can.

While medication is often prescribed as a standard response increasingly talking therapies (meditation, cognitive behaviour therapy, cognitive hypnotherapy and counselling) are helping more and more.  
Both the NHS and private health care have shortage of out gay therapists working within the NHS who understand the nuances and challenges of life as a gay man in London.  Would you feel confident of asking to access an LGBT therapist or counsellor via the NHS?

In my private practice I can help by listening to your concerns and working with you on your own plan to help you feel happier, more content, how to relax and sleep better and generally improve your sense of wellness that can lead to greater social interaction that can combat isolation and poor mental health. 

If you would like to arrange a FREE call back to assess you needs and if a course of coaching, counselling or cognitive hypnotherapy is right for you please get in touch. Good therapy happens when there is good rapport between client and therapist, a set of excellent skills and techniques and a shared positive intention to achieve the clients goals. The first step is to make contact and begin to imagine what your goal is from counselling, coaching or therapy.

Make contact

You can reach me by email change@patricklilley.com or call or text Patrick on 07931 424 905 (24 hours). You can visit the main site 24 hours where there is FAQ page and testimonials.  If the appropriate chat window is open we may even be able to chat live so visit my site below just in case. (It can be found on the home page). 
I am usually able to return your call within 48 hours.  If I am with a client or unavailable please leave a message, your name and a few words about your goal and best time to call you back.

Thank you for reading this wishing you the best of physical and mental health,
Patrick Lilley
http://www.londoncognitivehypnotherapy.co.uk/help/lgbt-friendly-therapy/
References:
*1 http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-statistics/
*2 http://www.stonewall.org.uk/documents/stonewall_gay_mens_health_final_1.pdf

LGBT Smoking Drinking and Druging too much - Need help to change?

Two thirds of gay and bisexual men have smoked at some time in their life comparedto half of men in general. (A later post will look at lesbian and bisexual women's health in relation to drinking, smoking and alcohol).

A quarter of gay and bisexual men currently smoke compared to 22 per cent of men in general.

More than two in five (42 per cent) gay and bisexual men drink alcohol on three or more days a week compared to 35 per cent of men in general

Half of gay and bisexual men have taken drugs in the last year compared to justone in eight men in general.

Read more about LGBT health research at Stonewall.

http://www.healthylives.stonewall.org.uk/lgb-health/gay-and-bisexual-men/default.aspx

If you would like to change your behaviour, stop smoking or become healthier in other ways.  Ask yourself, your wise self,  what is the positive intention of  those unwanted behaviours? Is it the actual behaviour you want or does/did the behaviour get something for you (a good feeling etc).

I can work with you to identify those positive intentions and assist in generating new behaviours that are consistent with your health and well being that could achieve the positive intention of the part of you responsible for those unwanted behaviours but in (new) ways that are consistent with your personality, personal ecology and overall well being.   

Call Patrick 07931424905 or email change@patricklilley.com